Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP 2

Just… What happened? I’m going to be honest, I have a top ten or so hip hop albums and then I have to tap out. Still better than my track record for country (The Legend of Johnny Cash, and even then only the songs which are pretty much the blues) but I’m evidently not a massive hip hop fan. How qualified am I then to just the merits of the latest Eminem album? Well, quite a bit actually I guess. I thought that line was going to come out a lot more confidently before I put it down, and let’s be honest, this is a word processor. I can go back and edit it. But I won’t but it’s about as accurate as I’ll ever get.

In the aforementioned top ten (or so, see above) hip-hop records (because records are cool and trendy) two of the contenders are the first two Eminem albums, The Slim Shady LP and The Marshall Mathers LP, which I guess is going to have to be referred to in future as Mathers 1 or something. Its reputation is being tarnished by association. To provide context I heard both albums through a friend at the tender ages of 10 and 11 through an old friend. It was great. My parents hated it. I had to tape the singles off of the now VERY defunct Channel Z (because hearing The Real Slim Shady every 17 minutes probably wasn’t enough). It was staticy as hell but I loved it. I obviously wasn’t alone, I remember every kid conning their parents into buying a copy of Now! That’s What I Call Music Vol. 11 or whatever to get a censored version of Stan. This was our generation’s Rock and Roll. 

Unfortunately, just like rock and roll, hip-hop moved on to incredible lows of its very own. 2008’s reality show Flava of Love brought Public Enemy’s Flava Flav to ‘Fat Elvis’ levels of embarrassment. I personally checked out around The Eminem Show (although I thought the singles were pretty decent, Cleaning out My Closet is still pretty uncomfortable and compelling listening today). I never really listened to the album in full but from what I can recall it is about what I’d call just about the last ALBUM to be literally everywhere and totally permeate pop culture. The only other one I can think of is Coldplay’s A Rush of Blood to the Head with it’s seventeen thousand singles, admittedly a pretty good effort given the actual album only had eleven tracks. If the first Wu-Tang album was hip-hop’s Sgt. Peppers then The Eminem Show seemed like it was pretty much The Dark Side of the Moon. Just Lose It from the follow up, Encore, sounded like a Scary Movie skit taking the piss out of Eminem rather than an actual Eminem song. So silver linings I guess, I completely wrote Eminem off then and this isn’t so bad by comparison.

Most of the things I really like about the first two Eminem records (remember: trendy and cool. I’m building association here) I have a hard time separating from, well, being young and happy. If they came out today and I was writing about them instead I’m not sure I’d like them as much as I did back then. Here I am sitting in a dressing gown at 8:20 on a Tuesday evening hoping that if I write one more album review someone will finally love me and the only foreseeable thing in my future is a few more decades of work followed by significantly fewer number of decades of stroppy nurses, jigsaws, and crap fiction in large print format. In many ways, the comparison just isn’t fair. What I CAN say objectively about the first two albums, and probably the third as well, is that they command attention in a way that this one doesn’t. About the only line I can remember from this album after one listen is one about K-Fed. Who the fuck remembers K-Fed? I don’t even think Kevin Federline remembers K-Fed. How long was he saving THAT line for? I can pinpoint the first time I heard My Name Is, The Real Slim Shady, Kill You, The Way I Am… just… Listen to the old albums. Put on Kim. You feel like you’ve walked in on a murder and you just want to leave the room before you get seen and engaged in an awkward conversation about what you’ve just seen. Yessir mistur Mathew-sir, her ‘ead was off when I got here, Sir (capital ess Sir.).

Whatever you’re doing you will stop doing that thing and devote full attention to what you’re hearing. By comparison Mathers Part II is kind of like a 78 minute 13 second elevator ride. Again, I’m not young anymore but I really don’t think I would have really gotten into this back then either. I don’t really think kids today will be blowing this way out of proportion fifteen years on like people my age do with those old records. They’re probably going to be more likely to blow those same old ones out of proportion than I am.

Which brings me to my next point: the title. No it’s not. I’ll give Mather’s credit, there’s a line early on joking about how he named the album after the first to make more sales. Here I am listening to it and writing about it. Hashtag: slowclap. There aren’t the hooks. The few musical bits I remember are samples of songs I already know (The Zombies ‘Time of the Season is probably the least jarring). The lyrics aren’t the revelation the old one were. If I’m being honest, even the singles kind of suck too. A verse and a half of Rap God stacks up and The Monster is a crap redux of Love The Way You Lie from the last record. It’s an even worse redux than Apocalypse Now: Redux was of the original Apocalypse Now.


Granted, I didn’t hear much of the last album but what I’ve heard is better than anything on this one. I don’t think looking backwards was the best course. I’ve read he was aiming to get to the vibe of the old days. As fond as the memories I have of the old days are and how far Marshall and I may have drifted apart in the past decade I’m actually kind of happy for him. Life’s too short to be pissed off all the time and I’m glad he’s grown up. The old days are still there to be listened to. I guess I’m still waiting for the next Marshall Mathers LP.